whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
