please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
