I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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