Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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