White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
