Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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