My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize
