I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
