sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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