first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
