That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
