Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
