Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
