There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
