So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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