worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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