actually, I'm a sock model
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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