You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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