You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
where are you?
Hypothermia
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
