Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
