I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
