u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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