Don't you send me to vm
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
organizing the empties. That sober.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I fill condoms, not promises.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
