omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
