just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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