i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I need a hoe opinion
go on
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
