dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
