Tell her she can't have a vagina
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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