i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
