I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I want to be your penis for a week.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
