Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
