I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests š
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Some sorority went āDick or Treatingā at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
