she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My bed smells like the plague
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
