Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
