Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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