Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
