I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
