I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
In America we eat man semen.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
