I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
