Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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