you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
