Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
