I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I made him laugh his dick is mine
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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