ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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