what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
