She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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