i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
