Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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