Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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