What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
