I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
we're so committed to being not committed
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
