she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
